I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
