last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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