Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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