so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
