The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Randomize