If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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