i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
