no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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