ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
