I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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