Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
