hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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