Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
