I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
i now understand why vodka
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
These tits shall not be calmed
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
