absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
