My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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