Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Randomize
