it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
