I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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