dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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