So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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