it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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