No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I would fuck him just for his dog
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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