Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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