yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
be right there i have to get my cape
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize