Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
