we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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