I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
