i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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