Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I have post one night stand depression
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
