her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
