it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
