I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
