addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
