get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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