I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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