He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
