It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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