Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
