the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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