at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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