So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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