I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
