We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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