What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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