david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
