she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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