is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
