So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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