i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
