i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
