I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
