He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
