I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
