the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
only if we run a train.
done.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
