pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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