youre lurking in front of me
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize