Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We need a shit load of segways right now
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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