That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
