His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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