no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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